Indie pop artist Mariela debuts album in goodbye to chaotic time

NORTH PARK – Rachel Hall is thriving. She is well received in San Diego’s music scene, has a job, formed deep female friendships and is “really, really happy.”

When she began transitioning in 2021, the future that other people said she would have would be one of workplace discrimination, homelessness, violence and eventually suicide.

“I am a trans woman who’s thriving,” said Hall, whose musical moniker is Mariela. “I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. And I want people to see that as like, ‘Oh, that’s what happens when you transition’ – not what I was told.”

Transitioning away from pain

The North Park resident says she is experiencing profound inner joy even as the national discourse on trans people turns increasingly negative. It’s a strange juxtaposition, to personally be feeling great while it feels like the outside world is tearing itself apart over trans people existing.

That dichotomy comes through in “The Underglow” too, which has upbeat music and peppy vocals overlaid by weighty lyrics. Mariela’s debut synth pop LP comes Oct. 3 with a collection of 10 songs written since 2017.

The indie pop artist sings about her self-denial, divorce, leaving evangelical Christianity, coming out as transgender, family rejection and a cross-country move from Nashville to San Diego.

The album is a capstone to a difficult time.

“I feel like I’m entering a new chapter, whereas, the whole time this record has been percolating, my life has been chaotic, and I’m just finally starting to feel settled in my new self and my new life,” Hall said over drinks at Genteel Coffee.

No slow songs

In the album, Mariela hits celebration, defiance, heartbreak and vulnerability, while still producing danceable tunes with catchy hooks. Bright guitar from Luke Gibson anchors much of the album, which was produced by Tommy E. Nixon. Many of the songs are co-written with a variety of local and Nashville contacts, from two-time San Diego Music Award winner Lindsay White to Grammy-winner Melody Walker.

Some of the vocals are achingly raw, but Hall does not feel the need to be mournful while delving into hard topics.

“My instinct is, if I start writing something slow, I’m like, ‘Let’s put a kick drum under this and amp it up a little bit’ because it’s easy to write slow stuff and sad stuff, but it’s not fun to listen to,” Hall said.

Attending and teaching at music school in Nashville robbed much of the passion she once felt. Amid the depression leading up to coming out and the dissolution of her marriage, her solace was inline skating, going months without doing anything creatively.

But coming to San Diego, with a less professionally-minded, competitive music community, reignited her spark. She wrote in spurts until she had the makings of a complete album.

What is the underglow?

The album’s namesake, “The Underglow,” was the final song written but appears second in the lineup. In the most literal sense, the song is of gay panic on the dance floor: one woman wanting to dance with another but not feeling ready. This wasn’t Hall’s sexual awakening, but it does mirror the fear she felt as she began to play with gender and who she could be.

The sexy closer is about the allure of the underglow, an underground space lit by neon lights, that Hall sees as the anti-heaven. It is everything she was warned would spell her doom – yet it has been the place she came into herself.

“This was me following my heart downward, away from the straight and narrow path, into this glowing, beautiful space that I was taught growing up, would be seedy and everything I was supposed to be afraid of and avoid,” Hall said.

“And I love it here.”

The album is an invitation to others to join her. She wants them to see all the success and happiness that is possible for a trans woman, even amid the fear-mongering of the heaven bound.

“They need to see that it’s good. They need to look at me and say, ‘Wow, she’s cool, she’s fun, she’s talented, she’s pretty, she’s successful,’” Hall said. “People need to look and see that trans people are just like everyone else.”